shemales - Fetish Phone Sex : Anything Goes Phone Sex

Phone Sex by the Numbers

A bunch of my friends and I got to talking about how much sex you have to have in order to consider it a good sex life. Of course there was the quality above quantity argument. But eventually we all agreed that no matter how great the fucking is at the time you’re doing the fucking… if you’re not getting it often enough you still got a shitty sex life.

So that started the ‘how much is good, how little is bad, how much is great, how little sucks’ debate. We decided to start in the middle with “good”. We all agreed that once a week is good. But then there are those weeks when the lady half of the couple would rather BBQ and eat the guys head than let him touch her. So we figured 52 weeks in the year minus the 12 weeks that happen once a month when it just ain’t happening would be the good scale. So if you have sex between 40 and 52 times a year your sex life is “good”.

The we had to figure out how to set the other categories. We decided to stay with the 12 point spread since that’s the range in our original “good” category. We started by working down from good, figuring that those are the categories where most men would end up. That gave us 3 categories below good until we got to zero. Then, in the interest of balance, we decided to stick with 3 categories above good as well.

We know full well that a LOT of men are going to claim to be in the top category. We also know that 99.5% of those men are lying. Believe me when I say it, guys… the girls KNOW when you’re lying about your sexual exploits. So before you try to claim a spot in the top category, remember that we know better!

Anyway… here’s the sex life scale. It goes by how many times you fuck in a year.

0 – 15 = in need of medical help

16 – 27 = bad

28 – 39 = needs improvement

40 – 52 = good

53 – 64 = exceeds expectations

65 – 76 = great

77 and up = porn star

(Remember that women know when men lie about sex.)

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Family Fun Phone Sex

Me & my mom hadn’t seen each other in 7 years. Not since I ran away when I was 14. ( http://roxyrebels.blogspot.com/2007/09/fate-is-fucked-up.html ) We totally lost contact with each other. Not long after I ran away she moved too. I didn’t know where she was & she didn’t know where I was.Then I got this job doing phone sex cause my boyfriend didn’t want me working the streets no more. A little bit after I started working there another new girl came on. Funny thing was… she had the same name as my mom. We started talking & got to know each other. We got to be friends pretty quick just like I did with the other girls. Then the bosses got her pics loaded up. She WAS my mom!!!! She didn’t recognize me from my pics but I knew her. We spent a few months getting to know each other again and finally we decided that she should come for a visit.Mom is HOT! So is Bobby my boyfriend. They both say I’m hot too. When we were planning the visit we teased & talked a lot about her fucking Bobby & us doing a 3-some & even just me & her getting it on. The first couple of days were all like you might expect. Proper. Polite. Hugs. And a lot of talking.

Then the 3^rd night came. We took mom out for dinner and had some drinks. Then when we got home we drank some more. Bobby walked up behind me when I was getting mom another beer. He reached under my arms and grabbed both my tits. Mom laughed and said the if he was going to do that my tits should be naked for it. So Bobby pulled off my shirt and my bra over my head all in one move ad then grabbed my tits again.

I didn’t know what to do. I had been teasing with mom about us all getting naked together but being there topless in front of her my mind went totally blank. When she got up & came over to where we were standing I thought she was gonna push him away & give me my shirt back. But she didn’t. she only moved one of his hands and started sucking on my tits.

The next thing I knew bobby was holding me up in the air by my arms while my mom took off all the rest of my clothes. She told him to take me to the couch and they both started sucking my tits. It was so fucking great!!!

I don’t know when they got undressed but the next thing I knew I was sucking on my moms tit like I was a baby again and I had Bobby’s big dick in my hand and was stroking it. We all rolled over together and Bobby was between mom’s legs and he rammed his cock right up her pussy in one hard thrust. Mom made that scream/moan noise girls make when they like how they’re getting fucked. She looked at me with this expression in her eyes that I can’t describe. But when she looked at me like that I couldn’t help but kiss her hard and plunge my tongue into her mouth. We kissed like that until Bobby made her scream with an orgasm.

The we both sucked Bobby’s cock together until he blew his load all over us. Mom licked his cum off of me. And then I did the same to her. But as I was licking the cum off of her, she pushed my head down until I was between her legs and licking her pussy. By that time Bobby had got his second wind and started fucking me in the ass while I licked my moms cunt. Every time he slammed his cock into my ass it pushed my face into my mom’s pussy and I got a face full of her juices.

We fucked & fucked until we all passed out. I woke up on the couch spooned up with mom and her arms around me squeezing me so tight it was like her life depended on holding on to me. I didn’t move at all. Even when Bobby came out of the bedroom & got a drink I laid there still. We didn’t say anything. I just smiled at him. He nodded his head & went back to the bedroom. I heard him calling in and saying he wouldn’t be going to work that day. I stayed there in mom’s arms until she woke up almost an hour & ½ later.

It wasn’t the last time we fucked that week. We were on each other 3 or 4 times a day. Me and mom even made love to each other when Bobby was gone at work. I never cried for her once in the 7 years after I ran away. Not even when I found out she had moved and I had no way of knowing where she went. But when we said goodbye at the airport at the end of her visit I started weeping. Just a little. But when me & Bobby got back to the car & started driving home I cried harder than I can remember ever crying about any thing else since my dad died.

I love my mom.

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SECRET SHEMALE PHONE SEX!

STRAIGHT MY ASS!

i think i finally figured it out. when a man says hes straight he means that hes really bisexual but its a secret so dont tell no one that he just had me shove my shemale cock down his throat or up his ass or both.

serious. all these guys cum into the chat room ( http://www.phonesexacademy.com/chat.html ) and talk and flirt with all the genetic girls. they talk about tits & pussy. and all the stuff the a guy does with a girl. and the other way around.

then the im me in private and talk about suck dick and ass fucking and shooting cum all over. they never talk about my perky perfectly rounded 34B tits. they talk about my 6 1/2″ fully functional shemale dick. and how much i cum and how many times. they talk about me making them into what i am. putting them in pretty clothes & making them go out in public. they want me to force them to suck dick and get fucked like like a girl.

i see them flirt with the others. being all big and macho. ready to talk about all the kinky stuff. they act like they can do anything say anything and be gods gift to women.

and then the beg me for all kinds of things. to be girly. to suck my dick. for me to fuck them. and most importantly to keep their secret. wich i always do. i wonder what all those hot genetic girls would do if they knew how many of their tough guys want my dick.

so thats it. straight = secretly bisexual

oh and BTW….. i’ll keep your secret to 😉 cross my little shemale heart.

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SUCKING IT RIGHT 4 PHONE SEX!!!

I have said it before and I’ll say it again…

If you really really want the bestest blow job you can find you have to get it from someone else who has a dick too.

You see, you can only know what truly feels good on a dick if you actually have a dick.
Only a person who has a dick knows how good it feels to have the very tip of a wet tongue sliding along the underside of the ridge at the head of a cock.
Only a person who has a dick knows what it feels like to have that full flat tongue following the vane down the under side of the shaft down to the balls.
Only a person who has a dick know the mind blowing sensation of a pair of hot lips wrapped air-tight around a hard shaft and the awesome feeling of the difference between the hot mouth and the cool air that is separated by those luscious lips.
Only someone who has a dick knows the erotic shock of feeling that brief teasing when teeth scrape lightly across the tenderest skin there is.
Only someone who has a dick knows the ultimate feeling of an anxious mouth sucking the juices out of a pair of balls making them shrink and tighten as that eager sucking drains them totally dry.

This is why if you want your dick sucked right you have to go to a person who has a dick. And for those of you who aren’t attracted to men… I am your dream cum true! A hot, sexy, big – titted, blonde, slutty girl who just happens to have my very own dick. The perfect girl who give the perfect blow job.

I love being a shemale! 🙂