Self Pleasure Phone Sex

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THOUGHTS OF YOU

http://bp3.blogger.com/_STHDpSsxqKE/Ry4XwIvbk-I/AAAAAAAAABQ/1laaAYkIrw0/s1600-h/bed7.jpg laying in bed, it’s late and I can’t sleep…thoughts of you enter my mind… I see your face looking down at me…. I hear your voice speaking my name…I feel your lips press against mine gently…your tongue enters my mouth…I feel your hands caress my body ever so softly…I feel you move down my body brushing your tongue over my breast, down over my tummy…. The warmth from your breath sends shivers thru my entire body…. I feel your hands reach between my legs…fingers spreading me open…mmmm I feel you blow on my clit ever so gently….. then pressing your tongue onto me…making me weak…you feel my body reacting to your touch…I feel you slide your finger deep into me… your mouth sucking harder on my clit…..mmmmmm my body filled with pleasure as I feel myself reaching my climax….oooooooooh uh huh mmmmmmmm……. I get up still trying to catch my breath and I look around the room and all I could think of is, I wish you were here.

www.bedtimebunnies.com/kate.html

Dirty Little Whore Phone Sex

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Last weekend was something else! My husband was actually home for once, and had some of his partners from work with him, John and Tom. They would be spending the weekend here at the house.

My husband told me we would all be going to dinner later that night and he had something special for me. I got ready and all four of us headed to dinner. My husband chose a very nice restaurant. We ate and then after dinner we went to this hotel, my husband say he had a surprise for me.

We arrived at penthouse suite and it was beautiful. My husband told me to go into the bedroom there is something sexy for me to wear and to let him know when I was ready. I walk into the bedroom and there was a sexy lingerie waiting on the bed for me. I was totally shocked, its been forever since hubby and I had been intimate. I got ready and opened the door a bit and told my hubby I was ready. I went and laid on the bed, the doors open and John and Tom walked in followed by my husband. I say what’s going on! My husbands says, “shut it! Bitch!!”.

John and Tom start undressing down to their boxers, stroking their cocks as they eye me like a piece of meat. I look over at hubby and he has a evil look on his face. Hubby tells me to get on my knees in front of John and Tom. I get down and he tells me to start sucking cock like the good little whore he knows I am. I take John’s cock in my mouth while I stroke Tom’s hard shaft. Then I switch back and forth, I look over at hubby and he is stroking his hard cock while he watches.

He tells me to lay on the bed and I feel Tom slide up between my thighs, pulls my panties to the side and puts his mouth right on my pussy, licking and sucking. John places his hands on my breast, squeezing them, pinching and pulling at my nipples. I glance over at hubby still stroking his cock, and enjoying the control. I hear my hubby say, “okay now guys” and they start ripping off my clothes, groping me and being rough.

John starts ramming three fingers deep in my cunt, then Tom climbs on my chest and shoves his hard cock deep in my throat. Gagging, tears forming in my eyes, I gasp for air. Then he yells, “STOP!” and Tom takes his cock out of my mouth. Hubby comes over to the bed looking down at me, places his hand over my mouth and whispers in my ear, “so Lisa, you like being a whore, a nasty slut when I am not home?” Then he slaps me across my face, and says, “carry on boys”.

John flips me over and Tom lays on his back. Hubby tells me to get on and ride that cock. I straddle Tom and start grinding and sliding up and down. Just then I feel John come up from behind and he rams his cock deep in my ass, I scream out in pain. I can hear my hubby laughing in the corner as he watches. John starts pulling my hair and calling me a fucking whore, Tom pulling at my breasts and slapping them, calling me a slut and dirty cunt. I feel John take his cock out of my ass, he comes around and grabs my hair and shoves it in my mouth and tells me to clean it. He thrusts it down my throat and tells me to take it all. I feel his cock getting ready to explode, he pulls me all the way down on his cock and shoots his warm load deep down my throat. John takes out is cock and puts his hand over my mouth, swallow it bitch, he yells. Tom pushes me off his cock, gets up and starts jerking his cock in my face. He is screaming, “look at me whore!” as he gives me a facial.

Hubby tells them good work and asks them to leave. He comes over to the bed again, lays down beside me, holds me and says, “you know I love you Lisa right?”. Breathing hard, I say, “yes darling I do”.

www.hornydesperatehousewives.com/lisa.html

New Girl Phone Sex

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A Sunny Morning With New Phone Sex Bunny Stella!

I wake up and look out the window; wow I say to Kelly (my room mate) Are you going to bring me my Red Bull? Pleeease I just want to lay here under the window and feel the warm sun on my naked body. It feels so warm and wonderful Kel.  Thank you, you always do your best to please me; You know it will take more than one of these to get me out of bed after last night! I don’t know why Phone sex is never enough to satisfy my sexual appetite?

When you came home from the club I remember thinking oh yes! Kel’s here, I hope she is drunk and feeling extra slutty.  When you joined me on the call I did at first I though you were going to fake
it……  But when you pushed me back onto the bed, and began playing
with my pussy ever so lightly I knew you were going to be in the bed
long after the caller hung up. 

I love they way you gently glide your fingers over the outer lips of my pussy; then spread the lips apart, gently sticking your finger into my wet warm pussy; Then begin to rub my clit in counter clockwise motions! OMG it feels so incredible….  When that caller hung up the phone at least he got his money’s worth! Ha ha ha….

I have to be honest when I heard the noise coming from the kitchen, I was surprised that you first, left your guest unattended to sit and play with me while on the call then took time to make me cum after.  But when he entered the doorway to my room/office I though HA ha
ha BUSTED!  You dirty girl, you were just getting me into what YOU
wanted for yourself! You selfish little bitch. I love your manipulative
ploys; you always surprise me, never a dull moment! Kelly you by far
have been the BEST ROOMATE I have ever had! OMG, when I saw that guy standing there in the doorway just staring at me naked, I knew what was to follow…….

When you got up and introduced him to me and unzipped his pants and unwrapped that package, I could feel my pussy getting wetter by the second. His name was so fitting; when you said hey Stell meet Rod I thought Hmm my my my……And a HUGE ROD at that!  

When you had him undressed ready to rock and roll, I went to the fridge to make a Cosmo, came back and thought while I was watching you suck his huge cock, how badly I wanted to have that cock deep in my pussy, while licking and teasing your sweet juicy rosebud. Mmmm I love my lil Rosie…. She is sooo Tight! 

While watching Rod fuck you, I wanted it so bad, as put my gushing wet pussy over your face; all I could do is grind my pussy on your face in desperation! When you whispered to me get up, I knew you read my mind; I immediatly got on all fours and into position. Feeling your tongue beneath me licking my engorged clit, I groaned with pleasure as Rod fucked me wildly……….  as I pulled you up to reach your pussy divulging myself in your just fucked juices…….. Listening to you moan while I too moaned the chorus of our pleasure made me explode with orgasmic pulses, and sensation!

The intensity of Rods voice, as he let out the beastly roar of letting go of the huge load he pounded into my already drenched cunt made me so incredibly satisfied and totally pleased………..  and now this morning I look into your eyes and lust for you again.

http://www.bedtimebunnies.com/stella.html

BDSM Newbie Phone Sex

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Invitation to S & M, The Beginning

Tonight would be our third encounter together. Our first two dates were the beginning of Bill’s welcome to the world of S & M. Up until our experience he had never been tyed up, gagged, spanked, and degraded as only I could do. Our first two nights together i handcuffed him to the bed and teased him, sliding my body over his, grinding my pussy into his mouth, lowering myself down inch by inch onto his throbbing hard cock. The following night Bill and I met for drinks and as we were sitting there I crossed my legs and gave him a view up my skirt to my bare pussy, whispering in his ear that I expected him to please me…..my way tonight.

As we raced to my apartment I thought of how I would tease and tormet Bill, making him my willing servant. Once we entered the room I ordered him to sit and wait until I summonded him. Quickly I changed into my Mistress of the Dark as I liked to call it outfit. High black thigh hi’s, matching garter, black leather one piece covering my ass and tits just barely, high heeled black boots completed my look. Calling Bill to come into the bedroom I stood in the center of the room waiting for him to enter.  One look at me he was swallowing nervously. “Get down on your Knees , Bitch” I ordered. standing in front of Bill I spread my legs and said, “Satisfy me, lick me, make me cumm.” Arching towards him he grabs my ass  and starts tonuging my wet pussy. Licking up my slit, entering my channel over and over again. I start to moan, squirting all over Bill’s face, into his mouth. Breathing my juices in…………..To be continued…….

www.bedtimebunnies.com/zona.html

Alyssa’s Forced Phone Sex Fantasy

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He came up behind me when I left the mall, I had spent so much time shopping I didn’t realize how late it was , my car was in the back parking lot and it was dark.
I could feel his presence as I tried to get to my car , I knew there was no way I was going to make it and I was right he waited til I was at my car when he grabbed me, wrapped his arm around my kneck and his hand over my mouth.
“Try to get away bitch and you will get it even worse then what you already are.”
He covered my eyes with some type of cloth , told me to get into the back seat of my car and to shut up. I was terrified , what was he going to do to me? Kidnap me, rape me , maybe even kill me and dump my body where noone could find me?
It was a short drive, he yanked me out of the car and took me inside somewhere, smelled musky and stale of cigarettes, and beer. I was pushed down onto the bed, and I felt his hands lift up my skirt and pull down my panties. He spread my legs apart and tied them down with something, I wasn’t able to move them. All I could do was whimper softly, I didn’t want to make him angerier, maybe I could come out of this alive!!! My hands where bound up above my head together I was helpless as he slammed his cock into my pussy. He was quite large and it hurt so bad but I couldn’t scream out I felt the tears wetting the cloth that was covering my eyes. ” There you lil cock whore, you are getting what you deserve for teasing me, walking around the mall all night, trying on sexy lingerie , modeling it like you where a fucking prick tease, thinking you where all sexy and shit” , he yelled just slamming into me making my pussy submit to him.
He came inside of me , I felt it blast out and fill me up, I was terrified I would wind up pregnant with his child now, wondering what I was going to do , if I made it out of this. He left me went into another room, I heard the shower running ,maybe he will leave when he finishes and I can somehow escape!!!
What seemed like forever , but was probably only a few minutes he came back , slide the blindfold off my eyes, kissed me hard on the lips caressed my check softly, ” how was that lover , for fullfilling your fantasy? ”
” MMMMM was perfect I purred, you played this out so good I was totally worried that it wasn’t you and that someone else had gotten ahold of me, I love how you desguised your voice even.” ” Now come here and fuck me more, I want to cum all over your hard cock.”
He He it’s great to have friends with benefits that will act out fantasies with you. *smiles*

www.bedtimebunnies.com/alyssa.html

Cherry Popping Phone Sex

katelayla

I was having a blast at my 18th birthday. I was at my
sister’s, Marie’s place, to celebrate it. She had been
planning it for a while and was able to talk my
parents into letting me have the party there. I didn’t
know many people there, but I didn’t care, I was
having fun. I noticed this one girl with dirty blonde
hair, and dark eyes. She was gorgeous and had been
watching me for most of the night. She was at the
party with a guy that was equally as stunning with
brown hair and green eyes, and the perfect body.
Secretly, I had a special birthday wish, I wanted to
lose my virginity. But as the night went on and people
started to leave, I started to think it wasn’t going
to happen. I talked to a lot of the guys at the party,
but didn’t hit it off with any of them and when ever I
tried to get closer to the couple I had seen earlier,
they were busy or I couldn’t find them.
The last of the guests left for the night and Marie
said good night and headed to bed after giving me a
funny wink. I didn’t feel like sleeping yet so I
stayed on the sofa and started to read a magazine
someone had given me as a gift.
All was quiet when I herd the door open and to my
surprise, the sexy girl and guy from before came in
the room.
“Has everyone left yet?” She asked.
“Yes the party is over…”
“I think it’s about to begin.” She smiled and they
came to the sofa and sat on either side of me. My
heart started to race and I felt a bit flushed.
“Hi Layla, my name is Kate and this is Brad. Your
sister is a friend of mine and was telling me about
you’re, not so secret, birthday wish.”
“Really? You mean that you two want to…you know…have
ummm sex with me?”
“We have been watching you all night and I have been
dying to get my hands on you.” Brad said.
“For real? Wow this is great. So ummm, what do I do?”
“You do nothing,” Kate said, “just lay back and let us
take care of you.”
I leaned back on Brad, resting my head on his chest
and Kate started to undo my shirt. Brad undid his
pants and put my hand on his large, stiffening cock. I
started to massage it. Kate took of my shirt and undid
my bra exposing my large tits to her. She brushed her
lips across my hard nipples then gave one a lick. She
took the other one in her hand and started to squeeze
it and fondle the nipple. I couldn’t help but start to
moan as she started to suck on my nipple, playing with
it, with her tongue. Brad ran his hand through my hair
and tilted me back so he could kiss my neck, then my
lips.
I started to kiss him hard, I was getting more turned
on then I had ever been before. Kate undid my jeans
and slipped them off my hips. She started to kiss my
pussy through my panties, pushing them into my slit
making them wet with my juices. She pulled them down
then kissed my flat stomach. Her lips moved down until
they found my wet, warm slit. Kate brought her hands
up and used her thumbs to push my walls aside so that
she could find my clit and started to kiss and suck
it.
I moaned out loud and Brad started to play with my
tits, lightly squeezing the nipples. My hand moved up
and down his now rock hard cock.
Kate then put two fingers in my wet hole and started
to move them around. It was the first time I ever had
someone else’s fingers in my pussy and it felt so
different then when I did it, it felt so much better.
I could help but to start moving my hips as she sucked
and fucked my pussy with her fingers.
I squirmed with delight, my whole body was taken over
by sexual desire. I had never wanted a cock in my so
much before. As if reading my mind Kate said,
“Brad, she is ready for you now.” He got up from under
me and I laid down on the sofa. He took off all his
clothes revealing an amazing body. His hard cock was
pointing up and I couldn’t wait to have it in me. He
got on top of me as I spread my legs for him to get in
between and kissed me, while he played with my tits. I
moved my hips wanting to push my pussy onto his cock,
but he was waiting, dragging it out. My heart was
racing, I could believe that this was really
happening, that I was really going to lose my
virginity. He reached down and instead of putting his
cock in me, he slipped his fingers in.
Feeling that I was lubed up, he grabbed his cock and
slid it up and down my slit, rubbing it against my
clit. It felt so good. He then lined it up to my tight
opening and pushed it in just a little so that he
could bring his hand back up and on my tit. He kissed
me again and pushed his hard rod into me. I was
distracted from the pain from him squeezing my
nipples. I finally had a cock in me and after the pain
was gone it felt so amazing. He started to push and
pull it out and I brought my hips up to meet him.
He raised his body up and I wrapped my legs around
him. Kate brought her hand to my face and tilted it
towards her. She kissed me and started to fondle my
breast as Brad moved his cock in and out of me. I was
in heaven. Brad picked up the speed and pushed it in
deeper with every thrust.
A warm sensation started in my stomach that I had
never felt before. I cried out. Kate could see on my
face what was about to happen so she backed off so
that Brad could move back down. His warm, naked skin
felt so good on mine. He started to thrust into me
faster and faster. I wrapped my arms around him and
held him tight. The feeling in me kept building up, I
didn’t know what to do so I just held him tighter. I
had an incredible urge to push down and when I did the
build up exploded throughout my entire body. I cried
out as my body tensed up and he kept pumping into me.
Sexual ecstasy seeped through every one of my pours. I
fell back onto the sofa, limp, and he kept pushing his
cock into me. My body quivered and he kept moving in
and out of me. He picked up speed again, causing me to
feel the build in my body again. He slammed his cock
into me and I could tell he was about to cum. I
grabbed him tight and as he thrusted into me a few
more times I started to cum again as he shot his warm
cum into my pussy.
We both fell limp on the sofa, his cock still inside
me. We were breathing heavy enjoying the after sex
glow.
“That was the best birthday present ever.” I sighed.
“Oh we aren’t done yet.” Kate said.
The three of us fucked over and over again that night
until we had no energy left to move.
The next day, after they had left, I was having lunch
with Marie.
“So did you like your birthday gift?” She asked.
“Where did you find those two?”
“I tried out a lot of people, until I met them. I
wanted the best for my baby sister.”
We laughed and enjoyed the rest of our time together
before I had to go back home.

www.bedtimebunnies.com/kate.html

www.phonesexacademy.com/layla.html

Double Dame Phone Sex

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It was a typical early spring day at the highschool. Ms. Kate kept right on teaching the last class of the day, although she noticed that John kept looking up her skirt. This disconcerned Ms. Kate. She then remembered her best friend and collegue Ms. Crissy mentioning that John had been a problem in her class also. Ms. Kate asked John to stay after class, then went to fetch Ms. Crissy. Ms. Crissy walked in the room and instantly assessed the situation saying “John you have been causing problems again haven’t you?”. John smiles because he knows the punishment he is going to receive. Ms. Crissy tells, Ms. Kate to lock the door and pull down the blind, because she knows how to deal with this trouble maker. Ms. Crissy tells John to stand up and get undressed. Ms. Kate sits on the desk and spreads her legs, John gets on his knees and starts licking up and down her slit. Flicking his tongue on her clit, and fingering her pussy. Ms. Crissy gets down and begins to suck on John’s cock, sliding her mouth up and down. Ms. Kate moaning louder, releases her juices all over John’s face. Ms. Crissy stands up and bends over the desk and buries her face in Ms. Kates pussy. Then John get’s up off his knees and slides cock deep inside her. Thrusting in and out, harder and faster into Ms. Crissy, she squirted all over his cock. Feeling that pierced tongue on her clit, Ms. Kate explodes with pleasure. Ms. Crissy tells John to lay down on the desk, while Ms. Kate straddles him and slides her pussy down on his cock, bouncing up and down. Ms. Crissy straddles his face, grinding on that tongue, leaning in and kissing Ms. Kate. Riding faster and Grinding on that tongue, Ms. Kate and Ms. Crissy cum together, squirting all over John, down his cock and in his mouth. Ms. Crissy and Ms. Kate get down on their knees, looking up and John as he strokes his cock and cums all over their faces. Then they get up and tell John, “we hope you learned your this time, you naughty boy”.

www.hornydesperatehousewives.com/crissy.html

www.bedtimebunnies.com/kate.html

Playing in Public Phone Sex

Kate

I JUST CAN’T HELP MYSELF

http://bp3.blogger.com/_STHDpSsxqKE/SBlodmqaDMI/AAAAAAAAAL0/9-B0ldUaym4/s1600-h/02.jpg I knew you were coming to my town. I asked you where you would be having lunch at. You never asked me to meet you, but I just had to see you, touch you, hear our voice again. I looked at the clock and it said noon, I knew I had an hour to get ready and go find you. I slipped into my lil black dress and heels, with no panties of course. I arrived at the restaurant where you said you would be dining at. I remembered your description over the phone as to what you look like. I enter the restaurant and I see the only man in there sitting by himself. I knew that was you. I walked over to your table and said, “hello I am Kate”. You looked up at me with this beam in your and said, “hi”. You stand up and greet me with a hug and a small kiss on the cheek, I feel my body quivering all over. I have been longing for that touch, ever since I’ve met you. I sit down at the table with you. We look at the menus to decide what to eat, but being so close to you I wasn’t really hungry for food. I start breathing a lil harder, as I feel your hand slide up my thigh, you know what I wanted. I place my hand between your legs, rubbing up and down on your hard cock, leaning into you, whispering how much I want you. You look at me and smile, then kiss me passionately on my lips, pressing firmly, slipping your tongue into my mouth. My heart pounding, I can feel our connection. I look at you and I slowly slide myself under the table. I start to undo your pants, and slide your cock out, stroking it slowly at first. I can hear you moaning lightly as I proceed to slip my lips around you and suck up and down. Feeling you deep in my throat, taking in every inch. Telling you how much I love pleasing you. I feel your hands around my face, telling me to get up and that we need to go. You cancel your lunch and we end up at the Hotel next to the restaurant. We get the suite and we waste no time once we are in there. You slip my dress off and hold me close, kissing me. Feeling our bodies mesh as one, feeling the heat between us. You lift me up and place me on the bed, laying me on my back. Your fingers slide in the waist band of my panties and slide them off me and throw them on to the floor. I spread my legs wide for you, wanting to feel your mouth touch me. You crawl up between my legs and start sucking and licking on my clit. I feel my entire body shivering, as your hot breath hits me between my legs. I look at you and tell you I want you deep inside, you get up and slide your hard cock deep inside me. Thrusting in and out, harder and harder, my hips lift to meet you. Grinding against you, I feel myself building up, and then I explode my juices all over you as you release your hot load deep inside me. Catching our breath, we say our goodbyes as you have business you must get to. Hopefully on your way back through

www.bedtimebunnies.com/kate.html

Public Shemale Fucking Phone Sex

RoxyBobby 

When I first met my girlfriend Roxy she was working the streets in Atlantic City. I go there about every other month to check up on business accounts. Every now and then I’d pick up some local company for an evening. The first time I picked up Roxy she was 19. She was also VERY outgoing and adventurous. I guess she needed to be to a hooker.

I got hooked on her and started picking her up on all my trips. Eventually I was calling her ahead of time to let her know I’d be in town. Then I started renting her for a whole day. Then a whole weekend. Eventually I had her with me for the entire week I was in Atlantic City. It took me months of asking and asking before she became my girlfriend and agreed to move in with me in PA.

She had really bad culture shock when she got here. We’re in a semi-suburban/rural area. There’s a big community of Amish here. Roxy had never seen people like them and had never seen a horse outside of a TV or movie screen. Her outgoing adventurousness toned down a LOT when she got here. I chalked it up to being in a new place.

Apparently she’s getting over the culture shock. In the last few weeks she’s been being more and more daring when we’re out in public. What I mean is… she keeps grabbing my cock, flashing her tits at me and wanting to make out. We went to the movies a bit ago and she made us sit in the back row. She usually likes to sit closer so I was already wondering what was going on. As soon as the lights went down she had hand in my lap and was stroking my dick. Once the movie got into full swing she slipped out of her chair, kneeled on the floor, pulled my cock out of my pants and started sucking me hard. After she made me cum her mouth she got back in her chair and watched the movie like nothing out of the ordinary was happening.

That’s not the most daring thing she’s done though. I take a lot of my produce to the big farmer’s market here in Lancaster. She went with me one day to drop off some flats. She wore a super short skirt. I haven’t seen her wear one like it since she left Atlantic City. For moving big flats of produce around on pallets it was totally the wrong thing to wear. Then we got there. We were behind the pallets setting them for the shoppers. Roxy bent over the top of the display and was arranging the fruit. That’s when I noticed she wasn’t wearing any panties! I walked up behind her, leaned over her should and whispered into her ear, “What do you think your doing?”

She reached back and had my dick out of my pants so fast I didn’t know what was happening. She pulled me by my cock and rubbed the head between her ass cheeks. I couldn’t believe how brazen she was being. She kept pulling on my cock until I did what she wanted and shoved my cock into her ass. She put her hand back over the top of the display and kept leaning over pretending to arrange the produce as I stood there in full view of the public and fucked her right up her hot, tight, little ass! I fucked her until I blew my load in her ass.

I don’t know if anyone saw us or knew what we were doing. When we got back to the truck she put her right foot up on the dashboard and said, “Well now look at that.”

My cum had dripped out of her ass and was dripping down the inside of her thigh. And she had walked through the crowded parking lot through all those people and didn’t do a thing to try to conceal it. I’m starting to think that she really wants to get caught. The problem is that she’s so damn sexy that I can’t refuse her when she wants to fuck in public. We’re going to get arrested. I just know it. But I don’t care!.

www.gayphonesexboys.com/bobby.html

www.phonesexacadem.com/roxy.html

Phone Sex by the Numbers

freaky jade 

A bunch of my friends and I got to talking about how much sex you have to have in order to consider it a good sex life. Of course there was the quality above quantity argument. But eventually we all agreed that no matter how great the fucking is at the time you’re doing the fucking… if you’re not getting it often enough you still got a shitty sex life.

So that started the ‘how much is good, how little is bad, how much is great, how little sucks’ debate. We decided to start in the middle with “good”. We all agreed that once a week is good. But then there are those weeks when the lady half of the couple would rather BBQ and eat the guys head than let him touch her. So we figured 52 weeks in the year minus the 12 weeks that happen once a month when it just ain’t happening would be the good scale. So if you have sex between 40 and 52 times a year your sex life is “good”.

The we had to figure out how to set the other categories. We decided to stay with the 12 point spread since that’s the range in our original “good” category. We started by working down from good, figuring that those are the categories where most men would end up. That gave us 3 categories below good until we got to zero. Then, in the interest of balance, we decided to stick with 3 categories above good as well.

We know full well that a LOT of men are going to claim to be in the top category. We also know that 99.5% of those men are lying. Believe me when I say it, guys… the girls KNOW when you’re lying about your sexual exploits. So before you try to claim a spot in the top category, remember that we know better!

Anyway… here’s the sex life scale. It goes by how many times you fuck in a year.

0 – 15 = in need of medical help

16 – 27 = bad

28 – 39 = needs improvement

40 – 52 = good

53 – 64 = exceeds expectations

65 – 76 = great

77 and up = porn star

(Remember that women know when men lie about sex.)

www.bedtimebunnies.com/jade.html

Fetish Phone Sex : Anything Goes Phone Sex