Hi Santa, it’s me, Princess Valerie. I have been a very bad girl this year. Cliche as it sounds, I was actually good at being bad. When you’re a kinky kitty like me, being a bad girl comes naturally. That’s why I have you by the chimney isn’t it? Santa, hand over the keys. There needs to be a shiny new key to my new luxury car. If not then I guess you’re going to have to pull me around in your sleigh all the way to the dealership. No, actually, I will just take yours. The sleigh might be yours, but I know you drive a pretty nice car the other 364 days, right? Hand them over. Christmas might be all about the birth of Jesus, but we both know how confusing that whole thing really is. It’s about you decking MY halls financed through financial domination phone sex.
December 25 is all about ME, Santa. You better bring me MY presents AND the presents of my enemies. Go fetch me whatever you have in your sack for the other girls. It’s all mine. I’ll decide IF they get anything at all. It’s not likely. Financial domination phone sex has taught me that I really do deserve the entire universe. So since it’s the season of giving, I want you to give until it hurts. Suffer in the new year from bleeding your bank account dry for me this Christmas. I want it all, you’re going to have to find a way to make that happen. If you don’t measure up, Santa, you’ll have to watch someone else satisfy me. If I have to get a secret Santa, well, it won’t just be your penis I call small. I’ll financially cuckold you, Santa. Are you ready to spoil me?